Age for Love

It’s been a while I wrote something, last time it was after a lovely walk on the beach.  Have this sudden urge to write something.

My friend and I were discussing about the ‘love and affection’. We discussed about how we usually fall in love, become possessive and so on. I debated that there is always an age to love. We don’t experience the same emotions at every juncture of falling in love. The way of looking at relationships, the way we deal with our (the then) beloved and the overwhelming emotions that we experience are absolutely different.

Teenagers live in a completely different world. They admire beauty, more acceptable about love and feeling. They just sink within that beloved’s love. They are just careless about the outcome. They simply enjoy living in the present, experience love within everything and every now and then. I think this is the purest form of love. Love that does not ponder over what will happen next or what will happen when the unusual happens. Every feeling is above calculation and expectation. Love that simply submerges two souls into ecstasy. Nothing is more important than love, a simple touch, sparkling smile, bone breaking hug and passionate kisses.

Discussion then suddenly moved to the age group we are in. I argued and also believe that love and affection we seek is not at all similar to the teenagers. We now suddenly laugh on people who actually believe in love at first sight. The meaning of love has changed. There are thousands of examples where people decided to be in relationship after seeing each other for years. It’s like an agreement, much like defense deal between nations. We are afraid to be hurt…in fact we start thinking about consequences much before than we fall in love. We think of secured future and totally forget about feelings. Sometimes I wonder, do we still have any heart to love? If we do then why do we learn to suppress it for other practical things? Such calculation of the mind overpowers every emotions within and yet people believe in love, isn’t that strange?

While returning home, we talked about older people, the one who are more matured. I assume that for them it’s all about companionship. During this stage of life, companionship is more important than love. Loneliness is one of the biggest enemies of social creatures (human). We always need someone to share feelings, someone to talk to and spend time with. I am not sure about love amongst old people but I am sure that the bond is too strong. Probably because they experience fewer emotions since the heart never stop beating and emotions never die until we die.

Whatever my opinions are, “Love” will always be an integral part of humans of all age group. Be it madness for teenage or security for youth or companionship for middle age, everyone seeks affection and warmth. As many fences exist between countries, how many war we fight. Faith will always conquer whole world J.

Expression of love

Dont say "I love you" when you are sad and I consoled
Dont say "I love you" when you are mad and I calmed
Dont say "I love you" When you are laughing and I made you to
Let not the emotion drive you
Because these emotions may not be there tomorrow
I will always be there with you..
Love me for no reason.... :)  (Prabeen )

Definition of happiness

Sometimes I wonder what would be the perfect definition of happiness. Is it the absence of sorrows? Being at peace & content with yourself? or without having to worry or fear about the future.

Sometimes, some major changes come to our lives and we get busy with it. It is neither a delightful moment nor a time to be sad. Yet we forget our sadness and loneliness by trying

to manage ourselves in that situation. This is the exact phase I’m going through and am not sure of being happy about it or not. Definitely it has suppressed my feelings, diminished my emotion & I’m yet to overcome them but in deep down there, in some corner of my soul I hear a question being raised, being echoed “ Am I happy ? “  to which I can’t find the answer. I am still trying to come out from blues. I know this just a phase of life where I have become unresponsive to fewer aspects of life but whatever it  is, it helps.

Yesterday evening, on a pretext of wanting to get some fresh air, I went to a beach trying to

‘Grab’ a chunk of peaceful life. I was walking on dry & coarse sand & just out of curiosity I looked back onto the traces of my foot-steps left behind. I just couldn’t find them. There were thousands of footsteps there amidst which mine were completely lost. After a brief while of me being numb, a sudden thought struck my mind. Isn’t ‘Life’ so much like a bed of sand?  Where you have your footsteps along with your friends, relatives and your entire near-dear ones, imprinted. Try looking back at those impressions and if you aren’t able to find your own footsteps, you need to realize that you are undeniably a lucky person who had  (or having) many to walk with you, just that few alike unlucky me can

clearly see his footsteps trailing from miles without their presence in our life’s journey.

Weekend.. colored my file

Today it was quite a journey. A journey that started from the mind to the soul, by the means of heart touched every part of my life. When I  watched the sun rise, I did not realize that my day would turn upside-down.

Now days I have nothing else to do but brood over my life, my work and my past. After brooding so much about nothing, I got bored and wanted to do something nice. I hit Google map to track down places that are within the arms of the nature. I found one lake on the out skirts of the city in which I reside and decided to travel there to click & capture nature. While I was riding, one truck happened to pass by and other than those few blind girls hanging out there, on the truck, there was nothing special about it. The girls in the school uniform looked so happy while singing some telugu song that I was not aware of. I assume that they could be going to the school for some competition or a meeting. Looking at them really made me smile. A guy with the camera was capturing some colors of their world and there were these bunch of blind girls who didn’t know what colors were. They would never know how bright the color red is and how peaceful white was, in fact they wouldn’t even know the color of their uniform. Still they were singing and laughing and enjoying everything that the dark life had to offer. I realized one thing that day that it’s not God or a spiritual guru who will help us all to get a good life but it’s with us to make life colorful and to enjoy it to the hilt. We could still be happy with what colors we have. Just stretch your hand and touch the life and you will sure find some color at your figure tip. The real life is all about saving these colors of life which have come your way so that whenever you’ll see your past you will be able to say ”Oh what colorful life I had”.

Its 9.30pm on a Saturday night and I have finished doing all my chores. Wishing to add new colors to my life, I desired to go to the pub for few drinks and dance. Draping myself with branded stuff i.e. innerwear to the shoes. In another 30 minute I was there at the one and only exclusive gay pub in Hyderabad. You can see all the known faces with whom you have chatted that you have blocked, the guys you wanted to be with in short Everyone was there. I stepped in and the DJ there started playing my favorite “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga. I looked across the bar and found a perfect corner spot and suited my self there. After few drinks, I was dancing alone and observing few couples around me. The tight jeans, the canvas shoes, the leather bracelet, gelled hair, glittering ear rings, etc. Suddenly amidst the same conventional crowd I came across a guy I liked and who . I don’t know why but whenever I meet him I feel the butterfly effect within my stomach. We don’t have many things in common and he does not have any feeling for me but I couldn’t stop myself from being with him. We were dancing, but soon I observed one thing that his eyes never stopped checking out others & there I was looking at him hoping that he would look at me once.

It struck me that I can’t have him & not just him but everything that I desire. Sometimes you have to let things go. You should be satisfied with what you have. I left him there & started dancing amidst the company of soul. When my eyes went on this guy I saw that this guy hurriedly started searching for a new partner. I saw other guys randomly kissing other men, guys sitting at corner with bunch of friends and laughing, guys trying to be the centre of attraction by showing new moves, guys drunk like hell and didn’t know what they are doing. Suddenly I felt like whole bar became a novel and everyone the characters within that novel. A writer creates and narrates character. He never falls in love with them. Because he is the only one who knows they are not real and they are not going to be true.

My life... my words

Is it our decision to be or not to be alone? I wonder why in the world one would want to die alone. I know that in deep corner of our hearts we all desperately want somebody to walk into our lives gracefully and stay there for ever through bad or good. He may be a hunk or a dashing prince charming maybe a shy guy sitting in one corner of the party. Few lucky have managed to find them & few have also compromised with what they got. But what bothers me is the thought of those unlucky few who could never get that special one. I was watching a song by Ketty Pery, “fireworks”, and found this song to be really inspirational for all those poor guys who are on the quest to find their soul mate. “You need to ignite the light and you need to show the world your spark. Because you are original and cannot be replaced” & no exhilarated feelings of mine could express my feelings towards it.

Now the question is about how to find “The One?. Do we have to have a special sight to see him or recognize him? How can one be sure about him being the one, are there any signs or signals to notice him ? But the fact is that no one knows the answer to the question.

How big a lover in him would be, it is still a difficult to say exactly what it is like & how it would be like. But as it is always said that you got to be there to realize the love passing by you so that you are capable to catch it. Sometimes we need to change our self a bit. Being an introvert and shy will not help us by any means other than feeling drowned & being lonely heart. I am not saying being gay is to lead a colorful life, but not everything in this world is black or white. We need to embrace the change and put ourselves in places where we lack. Everybody has to find a way to communicate. Without communication no prince charming will realize your existence.

Sometime I am afraid to think about what if there is no one waiting. What if there is no body made for you. But then deep inside someone suddenly screams and says that “it is not always that there are sorrows there but happiness too”. Though we know one day we all will die still we don’t forget to enjoy life. Hope is the greatest strength of life and high dream will lead you to beautiful reality. I wish and pray for all the souls to find their soul mate. No single soul will be lonely and grieving. What we need is pinch of hope and spoon of happiness. Are not gays meant to be happy ….. What bigger thing god can gift us…. making us individuals and giving us life…….

My last words to my friends

I know

When I leave the world

There would be some eyes become moist

There would be much tears dropped

There might be some heart skipped to beat for moment

There might be some smiles vanish from faces

I also know

I would not be the reason for sorrow for long

I would be not be missed forever

I would be thin memory lost in past

I would be tale ceased in time line

One day I would be a forgotten memory beneath ashes of past..

I don’t hope

You will remember me for ever

I will be missing part in your life till death

I am sure

I want all of you be there

If there will be another life….

*******************************************************

Do not remember me as coward

Do not remember as weak  

I am the soldier who fought the battle with life

I fought until my last strength

Now its time to surrender

Time is almighty.... and Life always has to end..

Me.....

"It is easy to mend the broken but when something shatters, its impossible to bring it back" & I took exactly twenty-five years, to realize this, from the day I was born.

Life is anything but a fairy tale & if you want to live in a fairy tale you have to look like a fairy & at least in this world that I live in, looks do matter more than the heart.Sometimes it doesn't matter how deep you could be hurt or how far it can disappoint you & at times it also seems like love, desire, affection, hope are just anornamental words which can be used to dazzle your prose & poetry but they rarely seem to exist in the real world.

Sometimes living in a world like this seems worthless but what still makes me live is when I look around & I find small instances of happiness like a small bush that blossoms on the road side, which faces the rude weather, & the people's stampede, still this small plant never seizes to grow and spread its beauty & it makes me smile. Whenever I see a little kid running across the road worrying about the load of his school bag on his back & still playing around with kids, I feel like innocencestill exists in this world. It reminds me of my childhood, when we never categorized people by their money or religion & played all day on the streets. I miss those days where we rode bicycles to far-off mango-farms just to steal mangoes from the trees & no matter how sour they were, they tasted divine. Times have changed and so have people, & I'm caged in a concrete box with a fake smile and sparkling clothes but no fun.

Sometime I doubt about myself being a queer. Just like other I too love parties ,dancing and clubbing but pub is not a place for me to randomly kiss good looking guys or to find a date for a hook-up. What actually makes my day is observing couples smitten by love, sitting in one corner of the pub, enjoying their drinks together with whispering to each-other,laughing & hugging. It seems like they are lost in their own world & care a damn about this world. Its then that I realized that happiness does not only comes when you have got something that you have desired but also when you have experienced that what you have desired & achieved is not hypothetical to what you have and wished for, in this world.

Claustrophobia of LOVE

I heard about a disease claustrophobia. This is a kind of disease where person feels uncomfortable when he is in enclosed area. It does not matter how much personal space he is getting , he just feels he is going to faint or die. I never believed such kind of thing can happen to a person, this just theory there is no truth in it.

But since last 7 months I realized this is true. Yes there is stage where you may be getting all the things in your life still you feel that is not right. The place, persons around you, what you are doing nothing is right. You feel like running out of air and want to run away from there to a place where every thing is greener and where greenery stays. You want to gasp as much air as you can. You can have your life back with him. When you realize that be sure that you are in love. With out him you will feel everything enclosed and colorless. Nothing will charm you and nothing will bring happiness than him. That is claustrophobia of love. I felt that when I was there in Columbia. I was dying everyday still I want to live. Because I know this will be over soon and I will be with him.

The day has come and I was so happy. When I saw him it was like gasping air ..with full throttle. I inhaled with my heart full of feeling and love. He claims him-self to be mainly but he is cute. He is cute enough to beat a baby boy. I tried to hug him but he felt uncomfortable and I could understand. I laughed .The moment I was waiting for months and it is already here. I tried to tell everything, every single thing I felt. Every single night and every single lonely dusk I spent. Alas my mouth was sealed. I know I can never express anything, but I feel enriched that I have such feelings for him and that overwhelms me every time. I was so relaxed this is going to be like this forever.

Now he is leaving. Leaving me behind, I know I will be used to the life without him.I can live and I have to. Its like going back to life I lived for 6 months. Every day every night I spent counting. The person in lift knows he will not die still he don’t want to stay there for ever. He just counts floors to reach his destination. I am not sure how this life will be, one thing I m sure office will not be the same . The only thing attracts me to office is now leaving. I am trying hard to bring some changes in my life, hope God will help me and will get some change. That will bring some peace to my life.

I never thought “good Bye” will the hardest thing to say…… After good bye also life goes on……

when you will come....

I know when we will meet

Flowers may not blossom
Spring may not have arrived
There may not be full moon night
Neither sun shine will be mild
There may not be cool breeze

But I am sure one thing
My heart will be racing in side me
My ear will be ringing with music
My breath will be rising
My feet will be dancing
My eye will be sparkling with love....

One day...

One day
I will be worthy for some one
One day
I will be smile on a face
Will be hope for one heart
One day
some eye will eagerly search for me when I will be late
One day
One eye will be smoky, when I will not be around
One day
I will live as dream on one eye lids
One day
I will be fragrance of some one's respire
One day
I will be awaiting hug for someone stretched arm
One day
I will reside as love in some one's heart
I will warmth of his thought
I will be inspiration for his creativity
I will be missed like hell
And One day
I will be the long stare of sky..
I will be the sparkle of unknowingly flowing tears...
While I will be beaming star in sky…

Fragile

Whenever I see around
I see everything fragile…
How fragile the trust is
A small stone of doubt can break down whole wall of trust
The love can be sacred lake
But a small drop of hate can spread impurity all over
Oh no how fragile is our dream
Always on verge of a blink of eye lid
I have never seen more vulnerable thing than heart
Every hard emotion can shatter it in thousand pieces
I heard strong bond of relation in stories
When I look around I can see only nuts on the thread of relationship
I know our life is also fragile
Small blow of death can take it all away..
Now I understand we human are fragile
But all try to define our own of strength in this world of weakness
I think that is called life and we all have to carry it on to un-breakable death.

Love is eternal

Today, again another normal day for my life. I woke up, got ready and left for office .Hyderabad traffic is very uneven ,un controlled and unruly. You can expect traffic from every direction except from up and down of course. I don’t think this is problem of Hyderabad, this is the problem of whole India, all the metro and city I travelled, I came across same situation. When I first had my bike, I was afraid how can I get through these traffic. I always tried to get rid of traffic and try to get space from the crowd. So every now and then I got irritated. Now I realized, it not going to over so now I became part of crowd and traffic. Now I can drive freely and smoothly with out any complain. Sometime we don’t ignore many beautiful though which are going on side walk while we are controlling our vehicle. Today, I noticed something that touched me. It might be small and general thing but it compelled me to think, and more over it made my day and put smile on my face .
I saw a couple, on their late fifties or early sixties. It seemed like they both were going to their office. The old man stopped his vehicle at the side of road and the woman got down from vehicle. Then the old man asked her to cross the street, so that she could reach her office which was on other side of the busy road. First she hesitated, she tried to step forward and then she moved back. Then the old man held her hand and led her to other side of road and came back. One should see the satisfaction on his face, the mild brightness of assurance of everything going to be fine now. I was amazed and touched. I realized one thing love does exist, though you feel it or not. I can say love not just a feeling which pops up every now and then when you see something, Love is not an emotion either which gushes in your heart for time being and dies. Love is like your eye, your limb it stays with you and leaves the world with you. It never dies when you are alive. It is as eternal as you and as mortal as you.

Today I realized...I didnt want to die.I was just passing through a phase of stress, one of my straight friend who know me who I am told me that. I was thinking ,really!!!, I was passing through a phase, was that phase ?? And it is over now. I wanted to believe him, butI could not. Being lonely is not a phase and not finding love in life not a phase at all.May be it is my fate that my life is still empty and unfulfilled.One of my chat friend suggest me to engage myself in other hobbies. I tried that, but till when, up to some extent I can feel I am engaged and ultimately loneliness will hunt me again. I was putting colours to my drawing,for one hour I was enjoing then my enthusiasm started fading.In deep corner in my mindI was wishing, if there could be my love watching my drawing, talking to me and admiring me.Suddenly I felt I was just trying lure myself, making fool of myself. Sometime I felt alone in whole crowd of disco, in pub.The emptiness keeps hunting me. Whenever I wanted to do something, deep inside I wish I could be with someone I love. I always imagine how those moments would be, in melting someone's lap,giving your soulder to some to lean on and hold his hand. I was passing through hussian sagar lake , the hyderabad skyline was in front of me.Again I went back to fantacy, I was dreaming about a open terrace, where I was seating and my love was keeping his head in my lap. I was playing with his hairs and we were looking busy road, high rise and talking an kissing. Is not that romatic? I wish all of my dream could come true. Alas I know it would not happen.... Still I want to live. When I see two happy couple in public, one happy boy running in park , small girl going to school with oversized bag... a hope pops in my heart... may be some where.. may be some one.....out there...

May be my last words..

I am not sure , but this lines are may be last lines. I would not post any thing again, may be I would not be there to post. I am still dilemma. Once I used to think people who commit suicide, are the loser. I could not see any reason to commit suicide. But I could perfectly feel why people commit suicide. When it is hard to take every breath, when it is hard to live in world, when it is hard to prove your existence. He must succumb to death. Now I can feel it every moment. Battling with my mind ,what I would do ? Suicide is not the proper solution but living life, leading worthless existence not the correct answer either. May be people who commit suicide do not belong to the world. The selfish, emotionless world. Since my childhood I heard about unconditional love. But I never seen it, not from parent not from friends ... I don’t have any lover so never had it from that side too. Every time I saw love is blended with some meaning and some urge and need. Still we call it love, no I don’t think that is love, its just a affection with meaning with it. I feel like I belong to world that I have never seen and I would never get. The world I expect exists only in dream and story. There is no relation to practical life and I am living here in the present, expecting un expected thing. I could see any future and worthy present. Let see when I will come back again here or I will leave world forever. I know no one will read it, that is what I want. I don’t want any body to suffer for my death and I am sure no one will. They may be in grief for few days but after some days all memory will be erased and all my existence will be forgotten past. No one loves this much who will, readily die with his lover. Love is just for living being, not for the dead and not for the person already dead but still leading a life.

I want every parents to be like this....

Today monring nice thing happened. I was waiting for my friend at near by reliance mart. There was a couple sitting beside me with their little kid. I was not paying attention to them , just kept my eye on watch and the road.. thinking about my friend only. After sometime something attracted me, the little girl ;( really the girl was having face of angel).. so sweet and innocent ;started singing. It was not big deal every parents taught their kid some rhymes and small peom to recite. But this small girl was singing "jana gana mana ".....our national anthem. She could barely spell hard word still she sung whole song at once. I was amazed, how could she remeber this song , she can barely talk . I feel proud, still people out there having affection for nation and teaching new generation too. All the time I heard every people complaining about India's poverty , corruption..... no one teach their kid to sing"Jana gana Mana adhinayaka" rather than "twinkle twinle little star". May be this is the way we can lead our new generation, if we dont love our nation,our anthem who will pay respect to us... only we can make our naton proud. God blss those family and salute to those parents. That thing made my day and still thinking about lil cute girl. I could have record her , .... then my friend poped up.. and my waiting time ended...

Love is what I want.....

I know I am not “Kalpurush”, and I don’t want to be. I love this society, and I want to live in this time ,don’t want to be a person living in different time zone and different era. Every time I want to live normally, this society show me how unfit I am .I tired a lot, my heart aches and I scream inside. Why it’s always me to be failure. I never desire anything extraordinary , unnatural. I am just a human and I searching for pure love. I am searching for a person whom I can love from bottom of my heart, I can give whatever I have. All my feelings should be for him and all my emotions should be devoted for him. I don’t know what is love is, what its definition. I just know love is eternal and so divine. I want to feel it only once. It must be really nice feeling when u love some one so much and u get same from there. The feeling of being taken care by someone is really the true happiness I guess.There would be no desire after this. I always search this thing in every person I come across and I find the failure. Everyone says u have a good heart, u are good person. What is the meaning of being good, no one even care for your feelings,wish,desire. Whta I got from them are only hollow, meaningless empathy. I cry inside, I want to tell world how I am feeling, and I cant. I feel like,being stuck in cage and screaming for someone but everyone watching me from outside but no one bothers to listen. Some say I am emotional, some say I am practical some say I am simple. I don’t know what I am, what I know that I am alone and living in hollow lonely world.

Diwali and my experience

This year I have enjoyed the Diwali a lot. I had been Indore to my one the best friend Devansu, had a good time there with my friend circle. Thanks to Devansu for giving me such nice time during Diwali. We roamed a lot, still could not forget the evening. We just crossed small brick house... you can’t say it as house just set odd bricks. The one brick on another no cement nothing. Don’t know when it will fall down !!Still we can see two lamp (diya) at the door. I was amazed, how come they are celebrating. They don’t have surety of tomorrow, don’t know what will happen to them tomorrow. Don’t have money to spend flashy cracker, still they are celebrating Diwali. That scene stopped my heat for a moment, how touching scene. Then I realized happiness is not bound to money, big home, more relative. It is the way you spend time for celebration and enthusiasm for celebration. You can make your festival better if you have interest and have that feeling of celebration. Celebration is not just lightening thousand lamps and high noise crackers. See those people without house they still celebrating Diwali with new hope and new charm. That’s the way of celebration.. Salute them.

Loneliss taught me a new lesson

Till yesterday I think I am somebody in world. But now have to rethink about this. Am I worthy for someone? Does someone need me? I was alone, I am free still I could not do what I want. Still waiting for someone to come with me, be with me. Here in mechanical world no one will be there for you. You have to go alone; u should make your self so strong that nothing can weaken you .This can be achieved when you have a sure goal in life. I realized that I am destination less traveler.... I don’t know where I am going, just blindly following the broad way ahead. Sometime it is hard to find what is the real goal, real desire in life. What I want to be? Sometime we deceived by the goal of others and started thinking that should be our goal. but now I can say the real goal should be that what make us happy for whole life... not that what makes your livelihood and gives you luxurious life. Aimless life is like be in a dark room, with out any direction only hoping for thin ray of light to show your path. Come on , how long you can sit idle or wish a false hope to come true... it just like running behind a mirage. I ll start a new life with new charm and new aim. May those’s make me feel a pure human... may have to sacrifice some, but no regret....

Some words for me..

I am not a object
Dont rate me ...
I am not a culprit
Dont judge me...
I am not game
Dont play with me...
I am not useless
Dont ignore me...
I am simple person
Do care me..
I have deep emotion..
Do love me... ( Prabeen)

When I was in train..

Really it was strange feeling. Sometime I had this time of feeling but this time it was strong. I could realize what loneliness is? When I boarded to train there are 4 people already in that buggy. I just went there and sit quietly. Everyone was on phone talking to somebody. They are narrating about the day, about the travel. Suddenly I felt I am alone. Though I was surrounded by crowd, still I was alone. I realized this called Loneliness; Loneliness is not just state of absence of crowd or anybody. It is the urge, the feeling to have someone with you or for you. With whom u can share your feelings and thoughts. Person sitting alone far away from crowd may not be lonely. Some lines started ringing in my ears, hope you have heard it " Aur to sab kuchh theek hai lekin, achanak chalta phirta shehar tanha lagta hai". ( everything is fine with me, but sometime the whole pack city seems so lonely) Really It happens so suddenly. Strange feeling but inspired to write something.. I wrote some lines there in train..... People were watching me what the boy is doing.. :P

I think I have utilized my Independence day; Did you ?

Today I had been to a village, which is adopted by CSC . It is near by Hyderabad. We have social service group in CSC , Hyderabad. We all went there for Independence Day celebration with those poor littlie boys, who have never seen the parades, never marched with beats of drums. Still they have love country and celebrating Independence Day. We all reached there by 11 am; due to some problem we were late. But still all the small kids were waiting for us. I could see the excitement and happiness in their face when we reached. All managed to sit in line and put on their uniform. Their teacher might have asked to come in uniform. Though it was dirty, loose fitting and worn out still they wear those. That itches my heart, I was wondering how much a uniform cost.. If I don’t buy one jeans and T-shirt I can help 5 to 10 kids to have their uniform. Shame on me. We started distributing sweets. There was nice little girl she had the candy but could not open it. When I try to take it from her and help to open it, she started crying. She might have thought I was stealing her candy, so innocent and so cute. The best part was when we distributed copy and pen. You should have seen the brightness and excitement on their face. You can’t buy these happiness, It made my day. I was happy that I could do something to make people happy and Laugh. Hope you have also enjoyed the Day... Happy Independence Day and Proud to be an Indian.

Sorrow of tricolour

Tomorrow is Independence Day; we have completed 61 years of independence. We have seen lots of changes and yet to see lot. We will all celebrate our independence day and we should as Indian. Sometime this day makes me nostalgic, I recall my schooldays when I used to take part in parade, When we marched with the beats of dream, you can’t believe the true patriotic emotion spilled out from heart. But now I and most of my friends just spend the day like normal holiday. All the emotion and eagerness are gone. I still remember I polished my black shoes, brushed my belt and ironed my white dress and all other accessories we had to wear in parade. The real excitement was when we won trophy; it was like we won in battle. Why should not we be happy we practiced for a month?

Today while returning to home I could see an old man selling tri color flags, tiny paper flag. Small kids and school student are eagerly buying those from that man. Tri color seemed very happy, It furled twice as speed as normal. It is the time for Independence Day celebration. You can see every where our flag buses, trucks, roofs, cycles. But have you ever noticed what happened after august 15, lots of tiny flags are scattered here and there as garbage. No one ever cares to put it back on a high place. That is our love and respect for Nation? Every year I questioned my self are we true Indian, Do we love our nation. People from other country respect their national flags but here we just use for one day then we never care. When all these flags will get respect and love from us as true Indian, that day no one can stop to be a great nation.

Autograph of Dream

Sorry Friends cant translte it in English,
I couldnot find words in eglish to reflect the true emotion... :(

Some wishes spilled out from heart

When the golden sunlight
Kisses my face through the window
All the darkness of night
Erased by the bright sunshine
I wish I could walk away
On the green grass carpet …..Away far away
Leaving behind the hill, wood, city
More and more forward
Towards the sea
Swinging on the bed of sea
Up ward and down ward with new ripples
I wish I could find an island
Filled with happiness, love
Everywhere echoed with
Twittering sound of birds
Everywhere it is green and fresh
And I am walking on the cold dew drops
My bare foot can feel
The rhythm of cool wind with grass
Slowly all the blues and sadness
Are washed out….
My mind will be open for
New happiness and bliss
But then I come back to this
Cruel mechanical world
Where you have to pursuit
The happiness forever and ever
No one knows when the chase will end
But everyone running after it
I am still searching my dream world
I am hanging in dream and reality
I stretch my hand to grab it
But nothing only loneliness and hollow
I afraid I bring back my hand
When I open it I find ashes of truth
What I will do I don’t know
I can’t bind my mind forever
It always wants to fly out there
It wants to fly out beyond horizon
I know nothing like my dream
There exist
But it brings color, coolness, rest
From the colorless, tasteless world
Thank you my dream thank you
I will never ever survive without you
Fly and fly beyond the odd world
Bring me glee, excitement
I am always waiting for you here
I am desperately wanting you…. here