Today I realized...I didnt want to die.I was just passing through a phase of stress, one of my straight friend who know me who I am told me that. I was thinking ,really!!!, I was passing through a phase, was that phase ?? And it is over now. I wanted to believe him, butI could not. Being lonely is not a phase and not finding love in life not a phase at all.May be it is my fate that my life is still empty and unfulfilled.One of my chat friend suggest me to engage myself in other hobbies. I tried that, but till when, up to some extent I can feel I am engaged and ultimately loneliness will hunt me again. I was putting colours to my drawing,for one hour I was enjoing then my enthusiasm started fading.In deep corner in my mindI was wishing, if there could be my love watching my drawing, talking to me and admiring me.Suddenly I felt I was just trying lure myself, making fool of myself. Sometime I felt alone in whole crowd of disco, in pub.The emptiness keeps hunting me. Whenever I wanted to do something, deep inside I wish I could be with someone I love. I always imagine how those moments would be, in melting someone's lap,giving your soulder to some to lean on and hold his hand. I was passing through hussian sagar lake , the hyderabad skyline was in front of me.Again I went back to fantacy, I was dreaming about a open terrace, where I was seating and my love was keeping his head in my lap. I was playing with his hairs and we were looking busy road, high rise and talking an kissing. Is not that romatic? I wish all of my dream could come true. Alas I know it would not happen.... Still I want to live. When I see two happy couple in public, one happy boy running in park , small girl going to school with oversized bag... a hope pops in my heart... may be some where.. may be some one.....out there...