I am not sure , but this lines are may be last lines. I would not post any thing again, may be I would not be there to post. I am still dilemma. Once I used to think people who commit suicide, are the loser. I could not see any reason to commit suicide. But I could perfectly feel why people commit suicide. When it is hard to take every breath, when it is hard to live in world, when it is hard to prove your existence. He must succumb to death. Now I can feel it every moment. Battling with my mind ,what I would do ? Suicide is not the proper solution but living life, leading worthless existence not the correct answer either. May be people who commit suicide do not belong to the world. The selfish, emotionless world. Since my childhood I heard about unconditional love. But I never seen it, not from parent not from friends ... I don’t have any lover so never had it from that side too. Every time I saw love is blended with some meaning and some urge and need. Still we call it love, no I don’t think that is love, its just a affection with meaning with it. I feel like I belong to world that I have never seen and I would never get. The world I expect exists only in dream and story. There is no relation to practical life and I am living here in the present, expecting un expected thing. I could see any future and worthy present. Let see when I will come back again here or I will leave world forever. I know no one will read it, that is what I want. I don’t want any body to suffer for my death and I am sure no one will. They may be in grief for few days but after some days all memory will be erased and all my existence will be forgotten past. No one loves this much who will, readily die with his lover. Love is just for living being, not for the dead and not for the person already dead but still leading a life.
